The Proper Storage of Weapons
by Thunder-Nari
Summary: Gunn tries to put the axe where it doesn't belong. Wes isn't pleased.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Am making no profit. I really hate these things.

Dark-English-Rose gave me an opening sentence and I ran with it. This is surprisingly good exercise for my writing as well as great fun. Its short and silly and something that would never happen but who cares? Not strictly slash but it could be if you wanted it to. Enjoy.

The Proper Storage of Weapons as Stated by Wesley Wyndham-Price

Nari

"Don't you dare put that there."

Gunn stopped his hand midway to the weapons cabinet and turned to look over at Wesley, who was standing behind him.  "…What?"

"You can't put that there."  In a brook no arguments tone.

"But this is where it goes.  It's an axe.  It goes in the weapons locker."

"I know that it's an axe, Gunn, but you can't put it in there."

"Ookay."  Gunn was looking at him as though he had grown a second head.  Wesley looked calmly back at him.  "Wes, did you eat all the doughnuts again?"

"Drop the axe and step away from the weapons."

"Right… I'm just gonna put this away and then we can take you to a doctor."  He took a step towards the locker.

"Don't!"  Gunn froze, more at Wesley's tone of voice than anything else.  Looked back at him, careful not to make sudden movement because the man was clearly insane and Gunn didn't want to provoke an attack.  "Give me the axe."  Wesley held out a hand for it.

Gunn shook his head.  "I really don't think so."  He took a step away, unfortunately towards the locker.  Wesley took a step towards him, hand still held out.

"That axe doesn't belong in there.  Let me have it."

"Give the obviously insane guy the big sharp axe?  No way."

"I just want to put the axe where it belongs."  He took another step forward.  Gunn took another step back and bumped into the cabinet.

Apparently that was too close to Wesley's liking because he lunged at Gunn, hands reaching for the axe.  Gunn's eyes went wide and he dodged to the side.  Wes glared death at him, the effect not ruined at all from behind his glasses.

"Now, Wes, just calm-"  He didn't get the chance to finish as Wesley lunged at him again, hands latching around the handle of the axe.

"Let me have it," Wesley demanded through gritted teeth, trying to pull the handle out of Gunn's hands.  

"I'm not letting the crazy man have the axe."

"I'm not crazy; I just want to put it back where it belongs."

"Where it belongs is in the weapon locker with the other weapons.  Because it's a weapon"  

He gave a strong heave back on the axe, hoping to wrench it out of Wesley's hands.  He didn't expect Wesley to suddenly push forward against him and then let go.  The result was him overbalancing and falling onto the floor on his back.  At least he still had the axe in his grasp though and he grinned triumphantly up at Wesley.

The grin only last a short second though because then Wesley was straddling him and trying to get the axe from his hands.  He was very nearly succeeding now that he had the better position.

"Give it here."

"No."

Gunn refused to loosen his grip and tried to twist his way out from under Wesley.  Wesley released the axe and Gunn was about to give the triumphant grin for a second time when he felt Wesley's thumbs press hard to the insides of his wrists, right over the pressure points.  He cried out in surprise and let go of the axe.  He tried to shoot a hand out to grab it again but Wesley's hands still on his wrists threw off his aim and he only succeeded in knocking it out of reach.

They both froze and looked to where the axe lay about a foot away.  Gunn could hear the music from a western showdown playing.  He smacked Wesley upside the head and it abruptly stopped.

Wesley made a lunge off of Gunn and for the axe, arms reaching out to grab it.  Gunn spun up onto his knees and flung himself across Wesley's legs, stopping his forward motion, his fingers bare inches from the axe.

Wesley turned his head to glare at Gunn and tried to kick him off.  Gunn gritted his teeth and held on, trying his best to pull Wesley back.  He had just managed to crawl his way up Wesley's body, holding him back from the axe when a pair of high heeled shoes suddenly appeared in his line of vision.

They both looked up from their sprawl on the floor and saw Cordy looking down at them with a raised eyebrow.  They both tried to give what was hopefully innocent 'no we weren't doing anything' looks.  She taped her foot once, then bent down and picked up the axe.  Gunn wondered if he should warn her that Wesley was insane and touching the axe could only be bad.

She just clicked her tongue at them once and walked into Angel's office with it.  Gunn and Wesley got up and followed her, watching as she hung it on the wall.  Gunn glanced at Wesley who looked pleased.  

"Thank you, Cordelia."

She just gave them both a look, muttered something about children running with scissors, and walked back out to do whatever she had come down here for.  Gunn turned to Wesley with a slightly annoyed questioning look.

"That axe is priceless, it goes on the wall.  Really, Gunn, it's not that difficult."

Gunn just looked at him for a moment.  And then lunged.


End file.
